


Solitary ~Minsung~

by Woojin_small_tooth_enthusiast



Series: Solitary [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Dom Lee Minho | Lee Know, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Angst, Han Jisung | Han-centric, Lee Minho | Lee Know is Whipped, Lee Minho | Lee Know is a Sweetheart, M/M, MINHO HELPS JISUNG WITH HUGS, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mental Institutions, Peter Pan References, Rehabilitation, Sad Han Jisung | Han, Shy Han Jisung | Han, minsung - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-02-10 19:24:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18666814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Woojin_small_tooth_enthusiast/pseuds/Woojin_small_tooth_enthusiast
Summary: Jisung is in a rehab centre getting treatment for attempted suicide. While in there he gets assaulted (not explicit - i promise!) and is left more mentally unstable then before. Put in solitary for a while, he is then reintroduced to communal life, with the help of his new roommate Minho. Minho helps Jisung not only get over his trauma of the assault, but also helps him improve his quality of life as a whole.'I suck at summaries... soz' - Bangwoolixstan, 2019





	1. 1

I wake up gasping for air, with my arms crossed over my chest and a throbbing pain near my shoulders. I try to regain my breath and let go of my arms. I look to see five bruises on each, a sign of the terror I encountered during the night. I don’t usually sleep for more than a couple hours a night, because if I do these nightmares take over.  
For instance, last night I was in a glass chamber in front of my family and friends, water rushing in with no way to stop it. The water quickly covered my nose and mouth, depriving me of oxygen as my loved ones just stood watching – laughing. My lungs burned, yearning for oxygen and dark blotches danced around my vision. Incoming darkness then began to spread from the outer of my vision to the centre, threatening to swallow me whole. Every night the dreams were slightly different, but all resulted in me being jolted awake due to my internal horrors. I was a prisoner to my insomnia.  
Deciding to move on and try to start the new day, I sit up in my bed and stare at my new roommate. He arrived yesterday and seemed a little off, well, more off than most people in this place. He wouldn’t stop smiling creepily at me, until he finally succumbed to the sleeping pills he was given. I am hoping he will stay asleep forever so that that smile wouldn’t return.  
“Get up” a nurse yells, banging on our door as she does. This causes the eyes of my roommate to flutter open. He sits up mechanically, like Dracula rising from his coffin, and his grin automatically returns as he sees me. Uncomfortable, I walk out of the now-unlocked door of our room towards the kitchen for breakfast. I can feel him following me, the hallway crackling with tension as the hairs on the back of my neck begin to rise.  
~  
The day continues like this, him following me as I attempt to carry out my normal day. The only time he parts from me being when we each have our appointments with Dr Seo. Today, Dr Seo reiterates the same thing: “You look good Jisung”  
“Are your scars healing okay?”  
“Do you feel like hurting yourself?”  
“How are you feeling?”  
And I repeat the same answers like a tape, much to the disappointment of the doctor, who writes this in his notebook.  
“Thank you”  
“Yes, fine”  
“No”  
“…”  
I look out the small window of the door and see Him…  
“Fine”  
I walk out of the room, and knowing he is following me, walk to the cafeteria for my midday drug pick up. I hand the lady the slip signed by Dr Seo. I read the sheet as I hand it over, seeing the number two next to doxepin. Oh, he must have upped my dosage of the apparent ‘depression and anxiety killer’. Yes, they make these emotions less heightened, but they numb everything else too…  
I take the pill in front of the lady who then proceeds to check around my mouth and under my tongue. I then have another nurse who comes and accompanies me for the next 20 minutes to make sure I don’t try and regurgitate the pill either. Usually having this nurse would make me uncomfortable, but today it makes me feel less threatened by the new guy, who I know is still creeping around behind me.  
The nurse leaves and so I try to find a place with plenty of people, to feel safer. As I am about to turn a corner he grabs my wrist.  
“Hey there pretty boy. You’ve been avoiding me all day, why’s that?” he says angrily as he tugs harshly at my wrist.  
“Stop, please.” I plea as I try to pull away from his hands. I try to hit him but he grabs my other hand, then putting my two wrists into one of his much larger hands so that he can use the other one to grab my waist. His hand on my waist is painfully tight, along with my wrists – definitely going to leave more bruises for me to explain to my nurse.  
“Agh I like a feisty one” he whispers wickedly into my ear as he then pushes me to the ground. I begin to scream as he punches my face, shutting me up. “Shh” he says aggressively as he then punches my ribs a few times for good measure. He lifts my shirt up to cover my face and I begin screaming again, writhing around, not caring how hard I get hit. He punches me again, then stands up and begins to kick me to try and quieten me. But. I. Just. Keep. Screaming. He begins to hit my head against the floor, all pain just loudening my scream.  
I hear the footsteps of many people approaching, not wanting to open my eyes, as I might see the man above me. I hear him yelling at someone, obviously trying to hurt them too.  
I just keep screaming.  
I hear the man grunt, before crumpling to the floor. The nurses must have sedated him.  
I just keep screaming.  
A nurse comes up to me and I can feel her touch, but nothing calms me.  
I just keep screaming.  
That nurse then takes back her warm hand, before returning it and painfully jabbing my skin.  
I just keep screaming, but then my head starts to feel hazy and my screaming slowly dies down as I fall into an induced slumber.


	2. 2

I wake up, my throat coarse and head foggy as I look around the blaring white infirmary. My memories begin to come back to me, so I lift up my shirt to see my body littered with bruises from him. The thought of him makes me curl up and begin to cry, my breathing becoming shallow.   
The door to the room opens and I look up to see my usual nurse, who approaches me with a sombre look, carrying ointment and bandages in her hands. She tries to lift up my shirt to apply the ointment, but I cower away from her.   
“Hey, Jisungie, It’s okay. This will make you feel better” she says soothingly; however, I still curl up in the corner of my bed as far away from her as possible. She reaches out to touch me and I scream, not wanting her, or anyone else, near me. The nurse tries to calm me down, but I begin lashing out violently, trying to attack her. I hit her and knock the opened ointment onto the floor, creating a growing pool at her feet. She looks at me sternly and grabs a needle from her back pocket as I continue to hit her. She stabs the needle into my leg and I slowly stop hitting, succumbing to the sedative.   
~   
I wake up again in the infirmary, however this time as I try to move I realise that I can’t. My arms and legs are confined by thick leather straps and I begin to writhe around, screaming for help. Dr. Seo enters with a nurse as I continue to scream. He reaches down to pat my leg-   
“DON’T TOUCH ME” I yell, with more emotion than everything I had ever said to him in our sessions combined.   
He retracts his hand and turns to the nurse.   
“We are going to put him back in his usual room, but keep him separate. So no roommate, no communal eating or free time. This attack has worsened his anxiety immensely and I don’t want him trying to harm himself again… so at the moment this is our only option. We will readdress in a couple weeks. For now, I will leave. Sedate him nurse so you can return him to his own bed, in his own room, and then leave him alone for a little while.”  
As I hear this my breathing begins to quicken at the thought of them touching me, but I am under again before I can give it much more thought.   
~  
The past couple weeks have been long, with my nightmares worse than ever, meaning my amount of sleep has decreased further. The only person I see anymore is Dr. Seo and the lunch lady, who slides my meals across the table to me, wanting for her sake (and my own) to keep her distance. Dr. Seo visits every day at the usual time for our sessions and this time changes his questions. Asking me about the attack, to which I just whimper in response and cower into the corner.   
Every day the doctor moves a little closer and every day at the start my heart begins to race at the distance, and then slows as the session moves on. By the end of the second week the doctor is sitting a metre from me, trying to accustom me to this closer distance.   
“How are you doing Jisung?”  
“I’m bored” I reply sadly, feeling like the me had been drained out of me, with just a hollow body remaining. “I want to see the others, play ping pong with them, do my art and singing classes with them. I miss it.”  
The doctor looks at me and sighs. “Are you ready for that Jisung, what if someone comes close to you? Will you start relentlessly screaming again?”   
“I… I… I don’t know…”   
As I say this the doctor stands and moves a step closer, reaching his hand out to try and touch me. My breathing again becomes ragged as I try to move away. However, he moves closer, placing his hand on my shoulder and I start to cry silently, as I bite my lip to hold back my sobs.  
“Okay, we’ll try you back in normal group settings and see what happens. However, part of that is that you will get a new roommate.”  
I nod in response, bored of solitary.   
“Okay, I’ll back later, I’ll see who we can get.”


	3. 3

I’m lying awake in the mid hours of the morning when I hear the typical three beat knock of a nurse, signifying she wishes to enter. I have my back to the door so I cannot see her, however I hear two more pairs of footsteps accompanying her.  
Intrigued, I turn around, to see Dr. Seo and another boy with the nurse. The boy was looking at me, smiling brightly, a smile that completely reached his eyes, from what I could see of them. Small crescent moon-shaped slits created as he opened his mouth wide. His long black fringe was trying to cover this, so I felt a sudden urge to brush it out the way. However, I was quickly drawn to a little dimple left of his lip, letting me forget the hair that was threatening to cover his shining moons.  
“This is Minho” the nurse states. “He is your new roommate. He is here for the same reason as you, so maybe he can help you out. He’s from another ward and has been here for a several months so will be getting discharged soon, maybe he can help you get discharged too Jisung!” She exclaims happily. Dr. Seo coughs, dragging everyone’s attention to him. “We will give you two a chance to get to know each other. Jisung--” he looks directly at me. “The nurse will be outside until your lunch time just in case you need her.” I nod at the doctor, he and the nurse leave swiftly after I do so. However, I can still see the back of the nurse’s head through the small square window located in the middle of my door.  
Minho, his smile never faltering, continues to look at me, before he proceeds to walk over to his own bed. He places his collection of things down, another pair of clothes, a white cat plushie and a book. I look at the thick cover of the old red book labelled ‘Peter Pan’ and my eyes light up with a desire to read that book again.  
Minho looks up to see me staring at the book and his smile widens even further, which I thought was impossible given how wide it already was. “Do you like this book?” he asks energetically; to which I reply with a stoic nod. “You can read it if you would like” he says, walking closer to me in an attempt to hand me the book. I cower into the corner with my knees held tightly to my chest, as my eyes begin to water and my head to shake violently.  
I stop shaking my head to look up and see Minho. He is halted in place, with a forlorn look on his face and his hand with the book now placed at his side. He seems to survey me before beginning to smile again, walking back towards his bed and placing the book under his pillow. The bell rings for lunch and Minho leaves, looking back at me before he does – again with a grin. “Wanna come with me to get something to eat?”. I shake my head in reply, questioning what made me think I was ready for this…  
However, my stomach rumbles, knowing that today is Jjiage and cheesecake for lunch. The thought of my favourite foods is enough for me to reach my legs over the side of the bed and place my feet lightly onto the floor.  
I head into the cafeteria, not having encountered anyone on the way to it. I walk up to the lunch lady and am served straight away, due to there being no line this late into the lunch break. I look around and head to the corner of the room to sit at a table by myself. However, when I sit down Hyunjin, my friend from the ward, approaches me. “Hey Jisung! I’ve missed you, what happened dude?” he says happily, reaching out to pat my back in a comforting manner.  
As soon as he touches my back I began to feel wave after wave of fear and my stomach gives out on me. I can hear my heart begin to pound so loudly I think it will come out of my chest. Pains begin to shoot down my legs. I became so afraid, that I can no longer catch my breath. Hyunjin retracts his hands as I stand up and run back to my room, leaving my especially desired lunch behind.  
I run into my bed and place the covers over my head, dwelling on the feeling of my most recent panic attack. I think about my past, why I’m in the hospital – how my mentality was already distraught, and now worsened by the monster who saw me as nothing more than something to use. Maybe that’s all I am? Something for people to use then throw away. Why me? Why do bad things keep happening to me? I just want to leave this place, but I can’t if I keep having these attacks at the slightest touch from another person. I do not want this feeling to return, why can’t people just stay away? See me for what I really am… that is, nothing at all.  
I lay there for hours, stuck in the dark recesses of my own inner anguish. Held by the agony of my situation and my hate for myself. I rehearse every bad thing I’ve ever done.  
After a while, I have no idea how long exactly, I see Minho enter. He looks at me again, the same look as earlier. Slightly confused? Slightly sad? He sighs, and then goes to lay on his own bed, staring at the ceiling. “What’s the matter Jisung?”  
“Don’t talk to me”  
“Why?”  
“You just shouldn’t… I don’t deserve it”  
“You don’t deserve it?” he asks questioningly.  
“I don’t deserve it, I don’t deserve anything, maybe I should just end everything”  
A pause. Minho thinks for a second before sitting up and staring directly at me.  
“Why aren’t you dead then?”  
“That would be too easy” I reply.  
He looks at me and then lays down again, the same sigh echoing off the walls as before.  
We both lay there for another expanse of time, who knows how long, before I hear his voice:  
“All children, except one, grow up.”  
I tilt my head, looking at Minho who has the red-bound book open above his head as he keeps reading.  
“They soon know that they will grow up, and the way Wendy knew was this.”  
My heart instantly feels lighter, the sad thoughts that filled my head only earlier begin to disappear as quickly as they had come.


	4. 4

“Pale rays of light tiptoed across the waters.” The golden rays of the sun seep through the window of our room, casting dark hues and shadows on Minho’s face.  
“By and by there was to be heard a sound at once the most musical and the most melancholy in the world: the mermaids calling to the moon.”  
His eyelashes glisten, each one long, black and beautifully adorned – coming together and then separating as he reads, creating a relapsing cover for his moons. The only moons I wish I could call to. His lips also shine, somehow still moist after the hours of reading. Yet, his voice reflects a different story, coarse and rough from the over use.  
“Peter was not quite like other boys; but he was afraid at last. A tremor ran through him, like a shudder passing over the sea; but on the sea one shudder follows another till there are hundreds of them, and Peter felt just the one.”  
The dinner bell sounds and Minho closes the book, placing it next to his pillow before sitting up and smiling at me. “I’m gonna go get something to eat, and some water. My throat’s a little dry.” He utters out laughing, his laugh more gravely and rough than normal, yet somehow more endearing.  
He gets up from his bed slowly, interlocking his two hands and stretching his arms above his head as high as he could. The white shirt of his uniform lifting above his hips, revealing his soft pale stomach. A stomach that I notice, as I continue to look, is littered with faint pink lines… Minho puts his arms back by his side and smiles his signature smile before walking out the door. Of course stopping before he completely exits to ask if I wish to come. I shake my head softly in reply, eyes on the floor so my slight blush isn’t visible to Minho’s searching moons.  
He is here for the same reason as me… But… he seems so happy. How? How did he get over the point of self- hatred to become happy? So happy…  
Minho returns juggling two food trays, two pairs of chopsticks in his mouth and a water bottle held at his waist by the top of his white trousers. He walks up to my bed and nods his head at my hands, beckoning them forward. I remain in place, not wanting to decrease the already small proximity between us. He then beckons his head towards the end of the bed as if asking a question. I nod and so he drops the chopsticks at the foot of my bed, like a cat releasing its toy. He then places my tray of food next to the chopsticks, before picking up a pair for himself and heading over to his own bed to enjoy his meal.  
He smiles up at me as he shoves rice into his puffy cheeks. “You gonna eat that?”. I nod in reply, still having never uttered anything to this boy, yet feeling closer to him than I have with anybody in my two months here.  
I lean forward, reaching for the tray and placing it onto my lap. I look up and see Minho, once again, smiling at me until he opens his mouth, still half full rice, “You’re so quiet, even my cats are louder than you are!”. At this his smile doesn’t change, but his eyes become sad.  
“Do you miss them?” I ask quietly. At the sound of my voice Minho nearly drops his chopsticks, I giggle as I watch him scramble to regain the proper position of the sticks within his hand.  
“Wow! Your voice! And yeah I do…” He says almost awkwardly, his right hand reaching around to rub the back of his neck while he thinks.  
“I haven’t seen them since I’ve been in here, so around four months. My mum often brings me videos of them from when she goes to my apartment to feed them but it isn’t the same” he says sadly.  
I nod in response, not having any pets at home, but note his obvious longing to see them.  
“I have three: Soonie, Doongie and Dori. I love them so much! They are so squishy! And I just want to cuddle them all the time! Ugh I just love them more than anything!” I smile at his obvious excitement, noting how his eyes shine brightly as he talks about them.  
“Maybe one day… you can come meet them” he utters quietly, barely audible above my chewing.  
“I would like that” I reply with a small smile, seeing the slight blush on Minho’s cheeks and the shining of his moons brighten.  
The rest of the meal is spent with Minho gushing over his cats and me nodding whenever he pauses, an indication that I wish him to continue. Him talking about something he loves is mesmerising. Not only do his eyes shine but they form slight crinkles in their corners, his pouty lips glisten as he talks and his broad shoulders also move, adding to the expression of his body language, especially when they move up and down as he laughs.  
After we had finished we place our trays on our bedside tables and Minho takes out Peter Pan and continues to read from where we were up to, much to my delight.  
Minho continues to read until the nurse comes past our door to declare lights out. “How about we continue tomorrow then?” he asks. I pout in response, wanting to keep listening (and watching…) him read. “Fineeeeeeee. I’m no match for your chubby-cheeked-pout. Andddd plus, I have this!” He says this as he pulls out a torch, me grinning widely in response. Minho looks at my grin, and it makes him do the same thing.  
He then continues reading until the nurse comes past again, a loud knock sounding on the door. At this hour it is surely a way to tell Minho to quieten down.  
“Okay, we are only one chapter from the end so I will continue reading for you, but I do have to be a bit quieter. So if you wanna hear me… you’ll just have to come closer.”


	5. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!   
> Thanks for reading this far!   
> It is my first chapter/ longer-length story (and 2nd ever jdjhdhh) so please comment what you think.  
> I would love comments on how I can get better, or just what you guys think.   
> Thanks ~♥~~♥~

“Okay…” 

Minho’s eyes widen, obviously surprised by my answer, before the look of surprise turns into his signature wide grin. 

As I tread over to his bed Minho pats the small space next to him, to which I kindly shake my head, blushing slightly. He laughs, obviously knowing it wouldn’t work and just watches me as I walk to his bed, sitting cross legged next to the end of it. 

“You okay? Are you comfortable? Would you like a pillow, or anything?” he asks hurriedly, concerned with me sitting on the floor. 

“I’m fine” I reply in my small voice, quite happy actually as I could still have a view of Minho’s lips as he read, the book covering the rest of his face. As he continues reading I watch him skilfully pronouncing each word, his naturally full lips slightly chapped from the hours of reading. Those lips, the lips that bring the words to life as he voices the different characters. 

Becoming tired near the end of the book I lay my head on the end of the bed, next to Minho’s feet. I could hear Minho stop reading for a split second to see what the movement was, before returning, smiling widely. 

“Jane is now a common grown-up, with a daughter called Margaret; and every spring cleaning time, except when he forgets, Peter comes for Margaret and takes her to the Neverland, where she tells him stories about himself, to which he listens eagerly. When Margaret grows up she will have a daughter, who is to be Peter's mother in turn; and thus it will go on, so long as children are gay and innocent and heartless.”

By the last line my eyes were closed from how tired I was and I was just listening to Minho’s words. With my eyes still closed, I choked out “Again?” between a yawn. 

Mino giggles his child-like giggle in response and replies “No, you’re practically asleep already! How about tomorrow?”. I nod, standing up groggily and padding over to my bed to lay down. As soon as my head hits the pillow I fall asleep happy; the quickest and happiest I’ve fallen asleep in my whole stay here. 

Rather than a nightmare, I dream a lovely dream of Neverland. I am in a room with my best friends from school: Felix and Seungmin. We are laying in our beds laughing and talking to each other when a beautiful boy flies in through our window, dressed in a green outfit, fit with a little green hat. This boy was beautiful, with dark hair, bright shining moon-looking eyes, plump lips and long delicate eyelashes. I go up to him to try and touch his cheek, to see if this perfect boy was in fact real. He laughs an oddly familiar laugh before grabbing my hand and pulling me out the window. We fly away together, holding hands under the stars until we reach a foreign faraway place, landing on the boughs of a large tree. The boy sits next to me and places his sturdy arms around me to keep me warm in the chill night air. He talks to me about the stars and how they’re stunning in the night sky, like beacons of hope for lost souls. He compared them to my eyes when I smile. He is perfect. I turn my head to look up at him from where it is currently sitting on his shoulder, only to be met with him looking down at me. Our faces are only a few inches apart and so the boy leans in, his lips touch—

“GET UP” 

I am awoken from my dream by the nurse shouting the daily wake ups. I was asleep until wake up? That has never happened before. 

I sit up to see Minho reading another book he must have picked up from the common room yesterday. “Sleep well Jisung?”

“Yes.” 

“What were you dreaming about? You we’re smiling all morning.”

“Nothing!” I reply startled, rushing into the bathroom and locking the door behind me. As I look in the mirror I see my face completely red, deciding to take a shower to cool down. I peel off my shirt and pants, and like Minho, see pink scars littering my forearms, hips and thighs. The especially large vertical one on my left wrist reminds me of why I am here; of the utter mental anguish I was in a couple days ago and the time at which the scar was created. Hating what I see I step into the shower before I can dwell in anymore self-pity. 

Feeling refreshed after my shower, I take another lot of the white uniforms out of the bathroom cupboard and put them on, covering myself before I look in the mirror again. I brush my hair and apply some moisturiser before I walk out of the bathroom. As I walk out Minho walks straight in, flashing me his crescent-moon-eyed smile before doing so. 

I wonder what Minho thinks when he looks in the mirror and is reminded of his own past… Does he dwell, or move on? To be so happy he must have moved on? But how….? How do I move forward into a better life? Maybe he can help me to. 

Minho walks out of the bathroom, his shaggy wet hair hanging in front of his eyes and his white uniform sticking slightly to his still damp body. He smiles at me and my heart instantly lightens at the sight, my previous worries drifting away. 

I walk alongside Minho to breakfast, a couple inches between us, the closest I have been with another person since the assault. We approach the tables in the dining hall, walking to the furthest one. I go to sit down, but stop as I hear a cough. I look up to see Minho holding his hand up for me to stop where I am, which I do. He walks up to the chair I was going to sit in and pulls it out for me, then walking up to the lunch lady to grab our trays. I smile at how he didn’t push the chair in for me, obviously worried that the close proximity would make me uncomfortable. 

Minho brings the trays back and my heart jumps at seeing him, once again, with two pairs of chopsticks in his mouths as he tries to not spill the soup and rice on the trays as he places them down on the table. I drag mine towards me and hold my hand out to Minho who drops the chopsticks into them, I giggle at what seems to be our new routine. I take a pair for myself, leaving the other for Minho, who grins as he takes them. 

During our lunch Minho and I laugh at each other as we have a friendly debate on whether we preferred the shipping of Tinker Bell and Peter Pan, or Wendy and Tinkerbell. I, of course, was for the one and only Wendy and Pete, however Minho stood by his pairing, nearly spitting his rice everywhere as I called him delusional. 

All my worries drifted away in this conversation, I felt like my ‘me’ returned. I felt happy, and like myself again. I realised that every time I have been happy since I was in here had one common factor. That factor being Minho, he was the reason for my happiness. Even though I had only known him for about 24 hours I had spent all of them happier than my previous months here combined.

I am snapped from my conversation with Minho, where he was clearly wrong, by the feeling of someone standing next to me. I look up to see Hyujin and, in fear, respond by standing up in my chair and beginning to back off away from him. Hyunjin hold his hands up to me, as if showing me he means so harm. 

“Hey Jisung, dude it’s okay. I’m not gonna touch you. I just wanted to apologise for yesterday. I didn’t listen to the nurses and I placed my hand on your shoulder… and I’m truly sorry. Please forgive me.”  
I nod at Hyunjin, who gives me a small awkward smile in return, before walking back to his table. I walk back to my seat and breathe deeply, trying to calm my fast beating heart. 

“You okay, Jisung?” Minho asks, a concerned look on his face. 

“Fine, where were we? Oh yeah! You not admitting that you’re shit at shipping.” 

“I’m offended Han Jisung” he states matter-of-factly; the concerned face being removed by one of over dramatic hurt. I giggle at his childishness, my heart calming completely in an instant. 

After breakfast we spend the whole day with each other, attending all our classes. He never comes too close, but just close enough that his presence calms me and I continue my day completely happy, no bad thoughts entering my head as long as he is there, always looking at me with his moons and wide smile. 

The only time we leave each other’s side is in the late afternoon when we each have our appointment with Dr. Seo, one after the other. I am first and so when we reach the office go to walk in first.  
“I’ll be waiting for you” I stop in my tracks as he says this and look down at the floor, blushing profusely. 

“Thank you” I reply softly, my head still down as I enter Dr. Seo’s office.


	6. 6

~ 3 weeks later ~  
/ Dr. Seo / 

Jisung enters my office, still looking as frail as he did when he first entered the centre. However, he carried himself differently – no longer walking with his shoulders slumped and head down, but rather his head held high and his puffy squirrel cheeks appearing every time he smiled. 

The smile, from what I could determine, has one definite cause; that being Minho. Whose back-of-the-head I can currently see. Ever since he had arrived to this ward, just over three weeks ago now, he has accompanied Jisung everywhere. They never touch, always walking and sitting with their shoulders a few inches apart, however looking at them the distance didn’t seem to exist, they were so connected when around each other. Always smiling, laughing and having normal, casual teenage boy conversations, which is what both of them needed. 

Minho has always been a happy guy on the outside, ever since he arrived straight from the hospital, covered in freshly healing cuts on his wrists and waist. After his suicide attempt his outer smile and bubbliness made people think he was okay, but he never was. However, after three weeks with Jisung he too can be seen to be truly happy and recovering. This change leading him to be able to be discharged within the next couple weeks. I am happy about this for Minho, but I don’t know how Jisung will go once he leaves… I truly hope he does not revert back inside himself, isolating himself again… 

I hear a cough and look up to see Jisung staring expectedly at me, obviously having been sitting for a while. 

“Haha, sorry Jisung, just day dreaming. How have you been? You’re looking really good.” 

“Thank you” he replies, face still. 

“Are your scars healing okay?”

“Yes, fine” 

“Do you feel like hurting yourself?”

“No”

“How are you feeling?”

“…”

He looks out the small window of the door and sees him… 

“Good” he says happily, his previously ‘still’ façade cracking with a smile. 

I note the change down on my sheet, proud of what Jisung had said. After some more discussion I hand him his medication slip and send him out, telling him to ask for Minho to come into my office.  
The two share a smile as they pass each other, so many emotions in each other’s eyes: adoration, trust, friendship and something else I couldn’t quite put my finger on. 

/ Jisung /  
I grin as Minho walks out Dr. Seo’s office, his signature grin on his face, yet… it didn’t reach his eyes like it usually did. His moons were glassy, and the area around them slightly puff, as if he had been crying and trying to wipe away the tears to conceal them, obviously not having worked. 

“Are you okay?”

“Fine, Sungie”, he replies with the same sad eyes and contradictory grin. 

Not wanting to make him any more upset in what is most probably a private manner, I look at the clock on the wall and see the time: 2:15. 

“MIN, ART CLASS STARTS IN 5 MINUTES. WE HAVE TO GO PLEASSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEE.” I beg, making my eyes big as I pout at him ferociously, trying to make him succumb to my request.  
“Fine” he says while sighing, “But be warned, I am a terrible artist who only knows how to mediocrely paint cats”. 

My pout instantly changes to a look of delight at his response. “We can paint cats together!”. Minho giggles as I say this, heading off to the art classroom.  
“Hey, min, WAIT UP!” I yell, running after the longer-legged boy, getting told off by a nurse as I do so. 

I catch up with Minho as we reach the art class door. He opens the door for me majestically enunciating “Sir” while bowing low.

“Why, thank you”, I bow back at Minho, giggling like a school girl as I walk in the classroom; followed by Minho who stands up from his bow after I enter. We stand next to each other, of course, picking two easels next to the window on the opposite side of the room as the door. All the easels are placed in a large circle, facing inwards, around the teacher’s chair in the middle. 

“Hi guys!” I look towards the door and see Mr. Bang, the art teacher, entering the room and walking towards the chair in the middle. “For the all the new people: Hi guys! I’m Bang Chan! And I’m from Australia!” Minho and I both exchange a humoured glance with each other at the energy the art teacher always seems to carry. 

“Today is super chill, we’ll just be painting whatever makes you feel happy, show me what you guys got.” 

I look up at Minho, who has already begun painting, no longer paying attention to me as he paints intently, his tongue sticking out slightly as he thinks. My heart flutters and I instantly know what to paint.  
“Alright class time is over; you guys can continue tomorrow. I’m going to head out to see Dr. Seo for a minute, Minho and Jisung you’re in charge of clean up today.” Everybody begins moving their easels to the corner, so they can continue tomorrow. 

“Ugh clean up duties, yuck.” Minho says distastefully. 

“Hey, at least it’s with me.” I say with a sheepish smile. 

Minho smiles in return, “Well, I’m finished, can I show you what I painted?” 

I nod, walking over to face his easel. I see a painting of what looks like a modern apartment with a couch in the middle of the room, in front of a window. On the couch is an oddly-proportioned man, with three cats on his laps. 

“It’s my apartment in Seoul… with you and my three cats… I just… I really want us to be friends even after we leave here. Do you promise you will stay friends with me?” 

My heart has that same feeling as earlier, “of course, Minho.” I say whole heartedly. I hold out my pinkie from where I stand, and he his own, my eyes beginning to water. 

“Aww Sung, don’t cry.” He says, still keeping his few-inch distance as he has since we met, never once trying to decrease it, in worry that he will frighten me… however… today I don’t feel so frightened at the thought… 

“How about you show me your painting” he offers, trying to change the subject in an effort to console me. 

I nod, walking over to my painting ushering Minho over. It is of two bright moons floating amongst the stars. On top of the left moon sits Wendy, and Peter on the right. 

“Wow, this is excellent… But… it should be Tinker Bell on the left one” he giggles. I grab my paint brush and my palette board so I can flick some blue paint onto Minho. 

“You – UGHHH, what was that for? Huh? Punk!” I laugh hysterically, but stop as Minho dabs some red paint onto the tip of my nose. He runs away to the other side of the classroom and I chase him, continuing to flick paint onto him. 

He runs behind me, dragging the paintbrush across my uniform and hair as I run around wildly, slipping in some paint I had flicked on the floor earlier in pursuit of Minho. I fall towards the wall and Minho, obviously also having slipped, ends up just behind me, stopping himself with his outstretched arms on the wall around my head; his stomach facing my back. I can feel his warm, deep breaths against my neck and see the muscles moving in his arms as he struggles to not fall onto me. 

My heart begins to quicken, and I panic at the thought of another anxiety attack, but as Minho pushes himself off the wall, away from me, I realise that I don’t want him to leave me… that this quickening heart beat is different. 

I turn around and look at Minho who coughs awkwardly, blushing profusely. “So that was-- ”

“YOU TWO, WHAT HAS HAPPENED HERE?”


	7. 7

Minho and I arrive back to our room tired and sore, both flopping onto our beds. After the debacle in the art room, Mr. Bang, being the awesome teacher he is, said he wouldn’t tell the nurses or Dr. Seo if we cleaned the art room spotless. Which we did. And two after hours of trying to clean dry paint off of walls and floors all our muscles were aching. 

“You can take the first shower” I say to Minho, my reasons being he was covered in more paint (so technically, I won the paint fight) and I also couldn’t be bothered to move. 

“Okay, thanks” Minho replies, his eyes closed. After a few moments of silence, I open my eyes and look over to see Minho sleeping. 

“LEE MINHO GET YOUR ARSE TO THE SHOWER.” I yell, laughing at his horror- stricken face of being so suddenly jolted awake. I continue to laugh hysterically, while Minho tries to get up off the bed and walk to the bathroom. This short walk took him a substantial amount of time, with each step being accompanied by a laboured sigh. 

I’m still laughing, tears leaking from the corners of my eyes and my stomach in knots, as I could hear Minho making the same grunts as he tried to undress himself from his paint covered uniform. The thought of him undressing suddenly makes me stop laughing and blush instead. 

I fall asleep from complete tiredness, still thinking about the very thing that caused the red flush on my cheeks. 

Minho calls my name softly from the end of the bed, before hitting me square in the face with a pillow as my eyes were just beginning to flutter open, making me wide awake. 

I drag myself to the bathroom, painfully undressing myself with all my tired muscles, but refusing to make a sound, knowing how much shit I would get from Minho if I did. I spend a considerable amount of time in the shower just scrubbing paint from my skin and removing it from my hair. 

I walk out of the bathroom, feeling instantly better, and I look over to see Minho drying his hair, the half-wet and half-dry hair hanging in thick strands over his eyes before he pushes it back with his hand, revealing his beautiful eyes again. 

“Can we read again?” I ask sweetly, blinking at him repeatedly like girls in the movies. 

…

“Hello?” I question, stopping blinking. As I do so Minho bursts into laughter. 

“I just wanted to see how long that insatiable blinking would last” he managed to utter out between his bursts of laughter. I walk over to my bed and lay under the covers, embarrassed. 

“Awww Sungie I’m sorry, but you really were hilarious.” He says, impersonating my blinking. I laugh at his action, realising that if I looked anything like that then he definitely had reason to laugh at me. 

“Fine, but I’ll only forgive you if you read Peter Pan to me.” I state, grinning. 

“Again? That’ll be the 8th time in the three weeks I’ve been with you. I could just about recite it Sung, how about another book? They have heaps in the common room…”, he tells me; hopeful that I will finally allow him to read something else. 

“Okay! But I’m still picking.”

“Deal” 

/ ~~/ 

Minho and I walk together to the common room, our accustomed distance between each other. Minho looks down at me as we enter the door way of the common room “I’m gonna go find a nice quiet place for us to sit, so we can get out of our stuffy room for a change, is that okay?” 

“Perfect.” I reply, at both his statement and at the view I have in front of me as I look up to him. He smiles and walks away as I walk towards the book case in the corner of the room.  
I roll my hands over the spine of each book, each book feeling slightly different, expressing a different story and universe within. I touch old leather, wrinkled paper back and thick laminated paper before my finger rests on a colourful plastic spine: Peter Pan Returns to Neverland. 

“MINHO” I turn around, looking for the boy, only to not see him anywhere. I walk around, looking down each corridor and through each door way he could have gone through, yelling his name into each one with no response. I sit down on the couch in front of the window, huffing in sadness at not knowing where he is. 

I suddenly hear a tap on the window and turn around to see Minho, his fingers on the glass as he smiles. The late-afternoon-setting-sun behind his head casts shadows onto the front of his face, making it hard to see it, while simultaneously illuminating his brown hair, making it seem a bright golden colour, just like Peter. 

My Peter. 

My heart flutters at the sight, him looking angelic in both the golden hue and the bright smile. Minho looks away, towards a bench in the middle of the garden behind him, next to a tall oak tree. He points at the bench, that obviously being where he would like to sit with me. 

I smile, looking at his side profile, with his dominant jaw line protruding as he continues to look at the bench. Without even thinking, I reach my arm up and place my finger tip to where his is still touching the glass. Minho looks back from the bench, most likely wanting to know what I think, however I am still looking at my finger touching his over the glass. He looks at my face, then following my eyes to see where I am looking, seeing my finger touching his. 

Glancing up, I meet eyes with Minho. The look was something I would never forget. It turned from one of surprise, with his mouth slightly parted and moons wide, to one of... Something else. Something pure. Something wonderful. 

He then opens his mouth, producing, once again, his smile. However, rather than his usual grin of joy this one was subtler, more shy, more adorable. He changes his pointed fingertip on the glass to his flattened hand, to which I do the same. My slightly smaller hands not quite filling out the size of his. I can see the tips of his fingers above mine and my heart warms at the sight. Our hands together on the glass, and our eyes met. 

I go to reach up my other hand to the glass, but am interrupted by the sound of two pairs of feet entering the common room. I drop my hands, just as I turn around to see Hyunjin entering accompanied by another boy from the ward. 

“Ugh, hi Hyunjin. Hi Jeongin.” I say awkwardly to the two who look up towards me and the window, seeing Minho on the other side who just dropped his own hands as well. 

“Well… umm… bye!” I exclaim, way too loudly, before running out the door to the garden. I walk towards Minho who, like me, is now blushing profusely. The air is awkward, but he soon breaks the tension by seeming way to casual when says “so… what book did you pick”, pointing at the book I had under my arm.

“PETER PAN RETURNS TO NEVERLAND!” I squeal, glad we are the only ones in the garden at the time. 

“…. Of course… how could I not have guessed that?” he utters, looking unimpressed. I grin, cracking Minho’s unimpressed gaze to reveal his signature grin again. 

I run over to the bench, with Minho behind complaining about having to read another Peter Pan book. I sit down, close to the left side and Minho the right. I hand him the book and he sighs, opening up the book and looking at the words on the first page. 

He begins reading and I am once again captivated by him, my eyes drawn to him as he glows in the sun set. The purples and red of the sky cast down, making his eyes seem more auburn, and his hair and lips still glowing slightly. 

Minho continues reading and I move closer, beginning to feel a little cold as the sun began to set. Every time I scooted closer, even the tiniest distance, I could hear Minho stop reading for a split second, as if he too needed a second to readjust to the incrementally closing proximity. 

As the day slowly lead into night I decided to move even closer to Minho. I moved so that the corners of the sleeves of our baggy shirts were touching and so that my hand was right next to his thigh. This was the closest we had ever been and I heard Minho’s breath hitch again, but for some reason this time it was longer. 

I looked from where my hand laid up to Minho, and my mouth fell open slightly in surprise to see that he was staring at my hand as well. 

For the second time today I suddenly have insane courage; I lift my hand and place it on top of Minho’s, reflecting what we had done only earlier, just without the glass as a barrier. My breath quickens, not having felt another person’s touch in over 5 weeks.

“Is this okay?” Minho asks delicately. I nod in response, my lips trembling from both the cold and the internal panic of touching someone. 

Minho looks at me trembling, a worried expression encompassing his facial features. “Jisung, are you sure you’re okay?”. 

“I’m fine, I think I’m just cold”. 

“How about we go inside then?” he says offering me a small smile. 

“Yes, I mean, no. I just want to ask you something quickly.” 

“Anything. Shoot”

“Um… today about what you said in the art room. About me going to see you and your cats in your apartment. We’re you being serious?” 

“Of course Jisung! You are the most important person to me right now. I would not have lasted in this place for much longer without you. I’m so glad I met you... So glad. And I want us to transcend this place. I want us to be together outside these walls. I want you.”

“You promise?”

“Of course” he says as he lifts his other hand up to show his pinkie. I lift mine up too, grasping his and holding it tight as I stare into his eyes. There were three moons in the sky tonight and one was being outdone by the two shining before me. We drop those hands to our sides, my other one still placed on the hand on his leg. 

“Okay, now we better get inside before we get sick.” Minho says to me laughing as he gets up off the chair, turning his hand on his leg palm-up so that he could grasp onto mine. Hand in hand we walk back into the main building towards the dining hall, knowing that the dinner bell should sound any minute. 

“Minho” I say as we enter the door to the common room again… “I would love that… what you said earlier on the bench. I want you too.” 

We continue walking and I place my head onto Minho’s shoulder, it bobbing as we walked together.


	8. 8

~A few days later ~ 

Ever since I had placed my hand onto Minho’s he has been distant… He still keeps an eye on me… but the distance both physically and emotionally has extended – like we were no longer friends.  
I was confused, we we’re fine walking to the dining hall together; I had walked with my head on his shoulder the whole way… and the rest of the night I spent with my hand in his until we parted to go to bed. Yet, the next morning he was completely different. 

I currently lay in bed, awake after a night with the littlest amount of sleep I’d had in a long while. I look over to see Minho also awake, staring at the roof of our dorm. I sigh, dragging my tired body out of bed towards the bathroom. 

Once I’m showered I walk out the bathroom, seeing Minho with his head down, looking at the floor. I had never seen him like this. Was it because of me? 

He too drags himself as he walks, heading into the bathroom. As he is about to close the door he lifts his head to meet my eyes. He has had no emotion on his face, a reflection of the past few days as well – I was devoid of his grin, of his glowing moons. I needed his happiness to fuel my own. 

He quickly darts his eyes, closing the bathroom door with a loud thud. 

“Wake Up” the nurse yells, unlocking the door of our room. Angry, I storm out of it towards the common room. I walk over to the couch by the window, sitting on the very left side and placing a pile of pillows next to me so no one would sit there. 

I look out the window and see the bench. The bench where everything started to seem okay. Where I started to feel like my ‘me’ had properly returned. 

I look up as I hear footsteps approaching, my chest tightening like it used to, without Minho to give me a sense of relief. Ironically, it is the aforementioned who walks through the doorway from the corridor. His eyes meet mine, one again lacking any real emotion and he turns around to walk back out the hallway. 

I pull my knees up to my chest, scared of returning to life here without Minho’s grin and constant chit chat to accompany me. My eyes glass over at the thought and silent tears begin to fall. I place my head between my knees and my mind takes its own course. 

Why was he so close and now so far? Does he not like me? Does he think I’m repulsive for liking him, when he is a man? I catch myself here at my own thought. Do I even like him like that? 

Yes.  
I do like him. 

I like him a lot. 

I fall asleep, my head still in that position as my tears continue to fall. 

I wake up to the sound of the breakfast bell, however I ignore it. My appetite gone with my happiness. 

I walk outside to the garden and look at the fated bench. I begin kicking the wooden bench until a leg gives out, causing the whole thing to lean to one side, from which I then jump and land on it, snapping the bottom of the bench and completely breaking it half. 

Tears once again begin to spill, wetting my cheeks and I keep kicking, even though the chair is already broken. No longer silent, my crying turns into violent sobs, my tears falling like raindrops and staining the dry wood of the now fractured bench. 

An alarm sounds, but I just keep kicking and jumping, breaking the bench into smaller pieces each time. Nurses come, grabbing me and restraining my arms to my sides as I continue thrashing around in their arms, screaming to be let go as my sobs grow louder. 

Dr. Seo arrives, carrying the syringe I know all too well. The look on his face was utter disappointment, the sinking feeling in my stomach causing me to stop thrashing around and my sobbing to revert back to silent tears. I know I have messed up my chance of discharged in the next couple months. 

I look up as Dr. Seo reaches forward with the syringe toward my arm “I’m sorry Jisung, I have to.” He injects the needle, waiting for release from the pain of my own raging sadness. 

As my world begins to go blurry I see a shocked face rushing up to me, two moons wide with worry as the person reaches up to touch my cheek. 

“JISUNG – JISUNG – ARE YOU OKAY?!?” 

“Min…” I utter as my world goes black. 

/~/ 

I wake up, my mind wiring, but my world still black as I struggle to lift my heavy eye lids. Sitting with my eyes closed, I recount my last memories: of the bench, of Dr. Seo and of Minho…  
As I continue sitting and thinking about them I suddenly realise an uneven weight between my two hands, my right being heavier than my left. Curious at why, I slowly open my eyes, looking around the dark infirmary, most likely the night of the same day as the bench accident. 

I look to my right hand and it see it with another hand laying on top of it, the owner resting their beautifully messy brown bed-hair next to it. I reach forward with my left hand, not wanting to let go of him with my right, and brush my hand through his hair, playing with it as he slept. I smile as I continue to fondle his soft locks. 

Disturbed from his sleep he begins to wake up, and so I remove my hand from his hair. I watch as Minho’s eyes open sluggishly, obviously tired. As he raises his head however and looks over to me his eyes dart open, instantly becoming alert. 

“Jisung! Are you okay? Why we’re you kicking that bench?” 

It was because of you. My smile drops at my thought. 

“I was angry Minho… why weren’t you talking to me?” he looks at the floor as I ask this. 

“I was scared Sung. When you touched my hand I had so many feelings. I was scared I was going to hurt you. Scared of letting you open up to me and then I just leave – “

“Wait” I interrupt him – Minho’s eyes lifting to meet mine as I do. “Why are you leaving?”. 

“Dr. Seo told me I was getting discharged, that day before we got in trouble in art class.” He looks away again as he says this and his shoulders slump, obviously sad to reveal the news. 

“Oh Min! I’m happy for you!” his eyes return to me again and I smile at him. 

“Oh… I thought you’d be angry.” 

“I’m angry you didn’t tell me sooner, and I’m devastated you’re leaving but Min you deserve this. You deserve to go home and see your cats again. I will continue without you here. I will get out of here for you” Minho’s eyes brighten and his mouth opens slowly to reveal his grin; my raison d'être. 

“When you held my hand Jisung and placed your head on my shoulder. I was so excited, so fucking happy. However, I also didn’t want you to get the wrong idea. I’m gay, but I don’t date men. I know I like men, and I’ve been with guys, but I just can’t be with anyone anymore. I’ve been used too many times. My last boyfriend, this douchebag from Busan, said he loved me. We did everything together and I thought we we’re really happy. However, when it came to sleeping with him he said he wanted pictures. I of course, thinking I was in love, let him, and when it came to the actual sex part after the pictures he bolted, saying he had to go see his Mum. Turns out his Mum was code for the whole football team and I was bullied relentlessly. The football team all wanted their way with me, and me having no self-esteem let them. I did many stupid things, allowed myself to be used and degraded by way too many people. One day it was just too much and I tried to end it all in my bathroom at home, hence why I am here…”

Silence fills the infirmary and I look at Minho, who has just spilled his heart out to me, my heart calling to him. I reach forward and hug him. I wrap my arms around his neck as he wraps his around my waist. He begins crying softly, so I try to comfort him; “Minho, you are worth more to me than anything. I’m sorry for those people in the past. I would never treat you like that. I would treat you like the King you deserve.” 

He laughs through his tears: “Thank you Sungie. Thank you. And I’m sorry for how I treated you. I have no excuse.” He says into the nape of my neck. 

“I forgive you.” I say pulling him away from my neck to look deeply into his eyes.


	9. 9

His moons continue to shine from his tears that were falling only a moment ago, as he lets out a breathy “Thank you”. 

Our hands still interlocked, I lay back onto the infirmary bed. Minho lays his head next to our hands, his back at an awkward angle from sitting on the chair next to me while doing so.  
“Minho”. He lifts his head up from the bed. 

I drag my hand out from his and move more to the left side of the bed. Minho, obviously thinking I let go of his hands because I was still hurt, looks down at the floor. I lean forward and grab his smooth chin, lifting his head up so our eyes can meet again. 

“Come here.” I say, letting go of his chin and patting the space on the bed next to me. Hesitant, his eyes open wide and I nod to reassure him. He places his hands onto the white bedsheets and crawls onto the bed next to me, pulling up the blankets so he can lay closer to me, close enough to have our bodies together. 

Minho and I lay there together, my head on his chest listening to his heartbeat as he rubs his hand up and down my back. I don’t know how long we lay there, but we both just talk to each other. We talk about everything… and yet nothing… about our lives at home, our dreams… I don’t know how long we lay there, but it is still dark when we hear a pair of footsteps. 

My head is lifted off Minho’s chest as he sits up suddenly.

“What’s wrong Min?” I ask and Minho responds, looking at me with wide eyes: 

“I’m not supposed to be in here. I snuck in earlier!” The door opens and with that statement he pushes himself, rolling onto the floor with a grunt and I presume to under the bed. 

“Yes, the sudden outburst was very strange. I don’t--” the nurse stops talking as she looks to see me awake, trying to conceal my laughter.

As Dr. Seo approaches with the same solemn look as earlier from my memories, my laughter disappears. He sits in the chair Minho was just in and beckons the nurse to leave with a flick of his hand. He looks back towards me and coughs into his hand, “Minho… you can come out.” 

There is shuffling and grunts heard underneath my bed, before a very disgruntled and sore looking Minho pops his head up beside me. I smile at the boy, shuffling myself to the right this time so he could sit next to me again. 

“I’m glad you two are talking again.” Dr. Seo comments. 

“How did you know?” Minho asks the doctor shyly. 

“You were both so unhappy, and I never saw you with each other so I just assumed. You don’t have to tell me why you were angry at each other, as it seems you’ve solved it now. But Jisung, after your little stunt I’m not allowed to discharge you until you can go several weeks showing that you are able to vent your feeling in ways other than destroying property and becoming violent.” 

Embarrassed at my actions, I look down at my hands, to which Minho grabs one of them. I look up at him and the moons calm me. 

“How much longer do you think I have here?” 

“If you promise to not do anything like that again… maybe four weeks? So you’ll have to do three without Minho, he’s leaving on Friday.”

I nod at the doctor. “I promise.” I say to him. I will do anything to leave and be with Minho outside of these confined walls. 

Dr. Seo gets up from his seat and walks towards the door, happy with my answer. He reaches the door handle before stopping to turn towards us, “You two can go back to your room. I’ll let the nurses know to not wake you guys up, so you can have a special sleep in day. But only this once, I don’t want anyone to know I’m bias to my OTP.” And with that he leaves out the door. 

Minho and I look at each other – “What’s O-T-P?” I ask him. 

He shrugs his shoulders in return “I have no idea”. 

/ ~ / 

Still hand-in-hand Minho and I leave the infirmary and walk back to our room, accompanied by a nurse, who locks the door behind us as we enter. 

We let our hands drop from each other’s and walk to our own beds. I fall onto mine with a thud, snuggling into my blankets in an attempt to fall asleep. However, the whole night had my emotions running high and after what felt like a lifetime I still wasn’t asleep. 

I walk over to Minho’s bed and stop next to it. I look down at the beautiful sleeping boy before me, laying with his hair fanned around his head like a halo. 

Careful to not wake him, I crawl onto his bed, placing one knee on either side of his waist. I hover above his lap, kneeling so that I don’t place any weight on him and lean forward. I brush some of the hair off his beautiful face and my heart gushes with an intense feeling, one I have only ever felt around Minho. My stomach is in knots as I yearn to close the distance… so I do. 

I place my lips on his. I could his rhythmic breathing escaping his lips and nose, cooling my own. I began to move my lips slowly, up and down along Minho’s. I kissed his jaw too and under his moons, causing him to stir. Wanting the kiss to no longer be one sided, I tug harshly at his plump bottom lip with my teeth, forcing his eyes open. 

For a split second he is confused and his eyes look at me questioningly, but he soon melts into the kiss as well. Our lips move together, his encompassing mine as his rough hands move to my waist. The movement is sudden, causing my shirt to also come up slightly so that his hands are placed on my bare skin. They’re cold against my burning hot skin and although are already holding me tightly, I want them even tighter. 

In my momentary lack of concentration Minho finds an opening in our kiss, slipping his tongue in. I gasp, never having felt anything like that before and he laughs at my reaction, the laugh sexy as he continued to show his control. 

I have no idea what to do with hands, and he obviously knows because he removes his hands from my waist, to grab my hands and place them in his hair, all while never parting our lips.  
The kiss is like a dance, one where he leads and I follow, although this is way less gracious than a waltz, with both of us out of breath, Minho with dishevelled hair and me with a partially lifted up shirt and blushing cheeks. 

We both pull away to catch our breath and I suddenly realise the tiredness in my legs so I drop down onto Minho’s lap. He smirks up at me at this, reaching to try to tuck my long fringe behind my ears.  
“Aww Sung, you’re so red. Are you embarrassed?” he asks, smiling at me with a cocky grin. 

“I-I-I’ve just never done anything like that before. Wait! Am I really that red? Agh I look so ugly when my cheeks are flushed!” I say, trying to get up and go to the bathroom.  
Minho places his hands on my waist again, stopping me from going anywhere. 

“It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful. Like this, and always.” He says, replacing the cocky grin with a warm smile that makes my heart flutter again, in the way that only Minho could. 

He removes his hands from my waist and I fall to his side, once again resting my head on his chest. He wraps his arm around me and we fall asleep together like that, in perfect happiness.


	10. 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI GUYS! THANKS FOR READING THIS FAR! IT MEANS SO MUCH!
> 
> Sadly, this will be the last chapter of solitary that i'll write, which makes me really sad cause i loved writing it :(((((((((  
> ....  
> Unless i decide to write a fluffy epilogue...   
> nevermind i will end up writing one haha. It may just take a week or two, year 12 is very busy UGHHHH.   
> <3<3

I wished that Friday would never come. Wished that every second was as long as a lifetime with him. 

It was currently the Thursday before he left, and we were sitting together on the couch in the common room; the one that was located in front of the main window. Minho was reading to me again, only because I promised that I would pick a book that had nothing to do with any characters called Peter, or Wendy, or lost boys… 

I can’t remember what we were currently reading, I honestly wasn’t paying attention. I was just laying with my head on his lap, watching his lips as he read. I was listening to his voice, but not the words that they spoke. It was the voice that started this whole ‘thing’ between us, whatever it is, and transcends to be past this place. I listen to his light voice and my heart is happy – content with right here and right now. 

I tilt my head away from Minho, towards the clock on the opposite wall: 8:45pm… we had… 11 hours and 15 minutes left together I calculate, bringing my fingers up in front of my face so I can count on them. 

“What are you doing?”

I look from my fingers to meet his eyes and blush profusely. “Maths…”

He lets out airy, disjointed laugh that sounds through the barely populated common room of the late evening. “You don’t need to be embarrassed” and he leans closer to my ear, breathing down my neck and along the side of my face. “I’m with you for other reasons, aren’t I baby?” he says, biting my earlobe with a low growl that reverberates through my ear. The sound and the stimulation give me goose bumps even without the added feeling of the nickname. I turn my head towards him, pulling my ear lobe out his mouth quickly as I do. Our faces inches apart at this point, I reach forward and peck Minho’s lips, before returning to my fingers to count how much time we now had. 

Minho reached forward, grabbing one of my hands that was attempting to count. He spread my fingers of that hand, then placing his own on it and clasping his fingers, to which I return; our hands once again in their own embrace. 

With his other hand he continues reading, until of course the nurses enter to usher everyone to their rooms. 

/ ~ / 

The past few nights, Minho and I had been sleeping in his bed, cute at first, however it was becoming uncomfortable so we had laboriously carried all my stuff to his side of the room. Our dorm now looked like a couple’s room: a ‘double bed’, with bedside cupboards on each side. The sight warms my heart, hoping that it can eventually become reality out in the real world. 

Minho and I walk towards our bed and get under the covers. I lay with my front facing his as he wraps both of his arms around me in my own little cacoon embrace. 

I close my eyes but soon a question ponders in my mind. 

“Hey, Min?” 

I hear a slight grunt in response. 

“Does your apartment have a single bed?” 

Not hearing a response, I look up to Minho’s face in a huge smirk, staring at me deeply. 

“Yeah, it’s the comfiest bed in the world. I have had it forever and I wouldn’t split with it for the world.” 

“You wouldn’t consider getting a new bed?” 

“Mmmm… what did I just say?” 

I turn around in Minho’s embrace, grumpy that he didn’t understand what I was really asking. 

“Sungie.” 

I also grunt, acting like I don’t care. 

“Is this your way of asking me to get a double bed so you can sleep there?” 

I sit up abruptly, breaking free of his embrace. I cross my arms over my chest and let out a loud, exaggerated sigh. 

“No!” I squeak. “Why would you think that? You obviously wouldn’t do it anyway, that bed is too important…” my heart dropping as I say this. 

There is a moment of silence before Minho begins giggling. “Awwww Jisungie you’re so cute when you’re angry. I’m sorry, I was just being annoying.” 

Still facing away with my arms crossed, I ask “So did you lie about the bed? How it’s the comfiest and you wouldn’t leave it for the world?” 

“Of course not” he says, my heart dropping further. 

I hear movement behind me, with legs being placed on either side of my hips. I try to move away, but Minho’s arms encompass me, so I give up, continuing to wallow. He lays his head onto my shoulder and whispers “Yes, everything I said about the bed is true. But, I’ll get a new one… because you mean more than the world to me”. As he finishes saying this he begins leaving light kisses on my neck, then leaning back against the head board of the bed. With his embrace, I too am bought back so I lay on his chest. 

He interlocks our hands again and we lay together like that, savouring our last night together as Minho continues to leave feathery kisses on my neck and the sides of my face. 

/ ~ / 

Watching the light enter our room I yawn, realising how tired I am. No longer leaning on Minho’s chest, I am now lying next to him, our legs interlocked as we just talk. 

All night was spent talking, knowing that we wouldn’t be able to again until I’m released. We talked about the future, OUR future. Of the things we wanted to, places we wanted to see TOGETHER.   
The top of our list being to visit Japan, which was mainly a compromise between Minho and I. I wanted to see the architecture and do some shopping… Minho just wanted to visit all the cat cafes in Tokyo. We also just wanted to do normal couple things, Minho saying that as soon as I leave that we are going to having a proper first date. His ideal date involved ordering fried chicken and cuddling while watching a drama, which of course I was fine with. Anything with him in the picture sounded perfect. 

Right now we are no longer talking, just staring into each other’s eyes, as he undoubtedly like me is thinking about everything we talked about. I wiggle forward and tip my head up to kiss his bottom lip delicately, Minho smiles as I do this and so my I feel his lip moving beneath mine. I kiss all along his smile and up to his eyes, moving up the bed so that I could reach them.   
I pull away from kissing him, looking into his eyes as I say: “You have beautiful eyes Min; I can see you in them, how beautiful you are inside and out. When you smile it is not only from your lips, but also your eyes – they shine so brightly.” 

Minho’s face looks still, like he is processing everything I am saying, so I continue. “When I first saw you and you smiled at me I was drawn instantly to them. I called them moons, and eventually they became my moons, ones that shine brighter than the moon in the sky.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Minho asks, face keeping still. 

“I… I just wanted to, no, I needed to before you left.” 

“Wait, moons. You called my eyes moons? So your painting in art class… was that about me…” 

“…Yes” I reply quietly, looking away from him. 

“Why didn’t you tell me? I told you about mine?” 

“Yours was pretty self-explanatory, and technically you didn’t let me explain mine before you started getting angry about Peter being Wendy on the moons.” 

“Wait! AM I PETER OR WENDY IN THAT SCENARIO?” Minho asks erratically, eyes becoming wide. 

“Why, Wendy of course!” I tease, acting as if that was of course the only possible option. 

“Oh, really?” Minho says, his voice deepening. His look turns dark and my cockiness from only a second ago is lost, as turns places his hands on my shoulder roughly, pushing me down into the bed. He flicks one of legs over me so that he is now sitting on top of me. He grabs my hands now and places them above my head, before leaning down to kiss me deeply. 

“You sure I’m Wendy Sungie? I don’t really scream damsel in distress.”

‘Definitely not Wendy” I stutter out, heaving heavily as my heart was nearly beating out of my chest. 

Minho laughs, “Honestly though, Tinkerbell soooooo wants Wendy.” 

“Tinkerbell and Wendy? Hmmm, its growing on me cause then Peter is out the equation and if I’m Wendy then I need a Tinkerbell… I wonder if Dr. Seo is free, always thought he was pretty handsome.”  
“You bitch!” Minho says, letting go of my hands to place his hands over his own mouth in a faux surprised look.

“Oh stop it, I’m sorryyyy, you love me” I say happily, spreading my mouth into the widest smile I could manage, my eyes closing in the process. After a moment of silence, I open my eyes to see a once again, completely still Minho. 

“Yes, yes I do… Love you, I mean.” 

/ ~ / 

As the nurse knocks on the front door for wake up, Minho and I are both already dressed. Me in my usual bland all-white uniform and Minho in his everyday clothes for departure. Never having seen him in anything but white baggy clothes, it was interesting to see him in colours, and such tight jeans… mmm – 

“Jisung, you okay?” 

“Um! What? Yeah fine!” I say exasperated, regaining my composure as I follow Minho to the front gates of the facility. 

I run up to him as he reaches out his hand, which I gladly take. Together we walk to the front of the facility, the place that had been our home for months. Once we reach the front there is a gate, one which I cannot pass until the day comes where I too am able to leave this place. 

I look up at Minho with tears in my eyes, to see that he has them too. 

“I’ll see you soon Jisung. I thank you for helping me in here, I thank you for being yourself and allowing me to become a part of your life. I love you. So much” he says, a single tear falling from his eye as he says the final sentence. 

I, being less composed, begin sobbing. ‘There are no words to describe how you’ve helped me develop, so for this I thank you. You are mine and I will see you on the other side. I love you too Min”, that being the second time either of had said those three words to each other. 

I wrap my arms around his neck as his wrap around my waist as we stay there, just hugging each other until ge has to leave, this being signified by the nurse coughing behind us. Minho lets go, walking out of the gate and towards the door, right before he walks out he looks back to me and waves, tears still streaming down both of our eyes. 

/ ~ / 

~ 3 weeks later~ 

I sit on the chair across from the Dr. Seo as he smiles warmly at me, beginning his usual questionnaire. 

“You look good Jisung”

“Thank you, I’m feeling a lot better too.”

“Are your scars healing okay?”

“Yes, you can barely see them anymore, just faint pink lines reminding me of another time, another Jisung.”

“Do you feel like hurting yourself?”

“No, I haven’t for a while…”

“Since you met Minho?”

“Yes…”

We continue talking and Seo continues writing everything I say vigorously onto his notepad. 

“Well Jisung, I’m really happy! You have improved so much! And I think it’s time for what you’ve been waiting for…you can be released this upcoming Friday”.


	11. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AGHHHH this is finally the end of my first story and I have 1,100+ reads! Thank you guys for reading, it means so much to see this!
> 
> Also, to my two best friends who are reading this; you guys encouraged me to step out of my comfort zone and post my stories. For this, and all future stories – I thank you. You two mean the world to me, MY ARTIST KING AND DANCE QUEEN <3<3<3
> 
> P.S. This chapter is honestly just me being sad about finishing my story so it’s literally just Minsung fluff of their new life together. Hopefully it isn’t boring! I found it super cute and fun to write though jjhdkhjkhk. 
> 
> P.P.S I have included every member in here but Woojin, so I managed to squeeze him in real randomly into this chapter HAHHAHA (I had to! He has my whole heart!)

I feel the midday sun hit my face and I engulf my new sense of freedom. I turn around to see Dr. Seo waving at me from the gate, his smile wide as he yelled at me “GO GET YO MAN”. 

I giggle, my steps skittish as I walk down the street. Having been in that place for several months, wearing the same uniform and having no large personal belongings I now only carried a small backpack and a large case filled with two large items… 

My chest felt lighter and my head clearer, I couldn’t wait to go see Minho. He didn’t know that I was getting released today, I asked the doctor to keep it a surprise. I also asked for his address in the least creepy way possible, which Dr. Seo was more than happy to give me for some reason…

I continue walking, taking in the scenery of the outside world of which I has so missed. The trees, that are now in spring, were beginning to blossom, the green grass awakening from its half-year slumber, it was all so beautiful. 

I stop when I come to the crossroad of the main road, I see a yellow car approaching and stick out my hand to hail the cab. It pulls to the side of the road and so I get in the front, squeezing in next to my large case. 

“Hi there! I hope you’re having a lovely day! I’m Woojin and I’ll be your cab driver today! Where would you like to go?” 

I’m taken aback by what has to be the happiest cab driver that I’ve ever seen, his smile contagious and causing mine to widen even further than it already was on this miraculous day. I tell the handsome cab driver my address and we head off in the direction of the one my heart has been yearning for. 

/ ~ / 

“So who’s the special someone?” Woojin asks me after a we are a while into our substantially long drive. 

“Huh?” I let out, visibly confused.

“Oh come on silly, it’s written all over your face, you haven’t stopped smiling since I picked you up AND you can’t sit still for more than 10 seconds - whoever it is, you’re totally smitten. From that smile alone I can tell that they mean everything to you.” 

“Yes, yes he does.” I saw, my heart bouncing in my chest at the thought of seeing Minho again. 

Woojin smiles softly to himself, before the drive returns to silence. 

/ ~ / 

We arrive at a modern apartment complex on the outskirts of Seoul, around 30 storeys high and full of apartments. I pay the cabbie for the drive, and then get out the car, taking my case and back pack out with me. I walk up to the bottom of the building, it looming above me with its blinding white bricks that reflected the bright sun. I look back down, towards the front door of the complex and let out a loud sigh that seems to rattle as I exhale, a sign of the impending nerves. 

I look down at the paper Dr. Seo gave me: Apartment 56, floor 27. I head into the building and walk towards the elevator at the back wall of the entrance. I press the 27 button and watch the doors close, the elevator beginning to move. When I get off at the correct floor, from what feels like the longest elevator ride ever, I walk down the hallway scanning for apartment 56. I find it situated near the end of the hall on the right, a blue door standing out against the white walls. 

I reach my hand up to knock on the door, however then bring it down again. What if he doesn’t want to see me? What if he doesn’t want to be reminded of the facility? What if….   
I let my head fall as I stare at the ground. He probably didn’t even want me to come, that’s why never gave me his number or address before he left. 

Defeated, I walk back to the elevator and press the ground floor button, feeling like my heart sinks with it as it descends. As the doors open I attempt to drag my now sluggish legs out of the elevator. I look up as I hear a loud gasp, seeing the moons I know all too well. 

Minho walks into the elevator, pushing me towards the back wall before he slams the button for his floor, and the door closing button. As soon as they do close he returns his attention to me, his eyes look soft, yet they have a sort of huger undertone that turns my stomach in knots. He comes closer to me, placing his hands on my shoulders and then leading forward too, so our faces inches apart. His lips ghost over mine, his hot, ragged breath sending shivers down my spine. His hands moved down my arms, my skin burning against his touch. He then reaches one hand up to grasp my chin, lifting my head up higher to face his so that he could lean down to harshly kiss my face. The kiss is messy and filled with a longing desire, a desire of not having seen, let alone touched each other in weeks. 

By the time the door dings on the 27th floor Minho and I are breathless, both our cheeks flushed and our hearts giddy. Minho grabs my hand we run to his door, him pulling me as I attempt to run with my huge case. 

Minho opens the door and the heatedness from seconds ago disappears as I see three fluff balls. Two of the cats try to wrap around my legs, purring loudly, as Minho and I attempt to try and walk into the apartment. I look to the left, seeing a TV on the wall, along with two blue doors further down that match the front door, for I presume, a bedroom and bathroom. Up the back of the apartment is a small, modern kitchen with empty ramen packets littered over the bench. To the right is a book case and a grey couch, the couch in front of a small window showing a downtown view of Seoul. Next to the couch I can see a little grey head amongst a pile of… bundles?? 

Minho lets go of my hand and runs towards the pile, earning an angry meow from his cat as he attempts to carry all of his bundles. 

“If I knew you were coming I would have cleaned up!” he says stressfully as he tries to carry the countless bundles into his room, his cute face squashed between them as he does so. I walk into the centre of the apartment and turn towards the window to admire the view. My view is accompanied with the sound of an exasperated Minho as he attempts to clean all the ramen packets out of his kitchen.  
The couch in front of the window seems familiar somehow… I grab my large case when I realise why. I open the case that Dr. Seo had given me and smile as I see Minho’s painting of me with his cats on the couch. 

I pull it out, revealing my Peter Pan one below, and hide it behind my back, although the corners could definitely be seen. I walk up to Minho, whose back is now facing me as he attempts to clean out his small fridge, and tap his shoulder. He turns around, his eyes going from wide to soft as he sees me. 

“I have a present for you” I say shyly, handing him the painting. 

“Oh Sungie! You got it! Thank you! Did you bring yours? It was so much better than mine.” He replies excited, his signature grin gracing me eyes after weeks of not being able to see it.  
“Yeah, it’s in the case over there” I say, pointing back towards the case that is laying against the couch. 

“Oh wait! That reminds me” Minho says suddenly, running into his bedroom. He shuts the door behind him, yet I can still hear him running madly around for some reason. 

After a few moments of expecting Minho to return I go and sit on his couch. I watch in humour from the fluffy couch as his shadow continues to run along the bottom of the door. 

Eventually an out of breath Minho walks out his room, sweat gleaning his forehead, reflecting in the midday sun seeping through his window. He walks towards me with a small box in his left hand. He approaches me, straddling my lap with each of his knees on either side of me. He lets his weight drop onto my legs before placing the box in front of me. I reach for it, my heart beating as fast as Minho was breathing. I open the box and am met with the sight of something that lifted my heart into the sky, into the next galaxy even. 

“Do you like it?” Minho askes me, his left hand reaching up to sit behind my ear, his rough fingertips rubbing my head. I lean into his hand, kissing the wrist of it lightly. 

“I love it” I reply, holding the apartment key in front of Minho. “But, now you’ll never get rid of me.” As I say this I continue my kisses from his wrist all the way to the nape of his neck where I bite and suck lightly. 

“That was the point” he growls into my ear, his breath short as he leans into my lips, wanting to deepen my kisses that had now reached his collarbone. 

I giggle into the kisses as our hurried one from the elevator returns and I become silent – ecstasy taking over at the fact that we both now realised that this could last forever. Therefore, we both then begin to just kiss slowly, our tongues wrapping around each other as Minho continues to sit on my lap. He reaches for my waist, holding it tightly as tries to pull me up with him without our lips and tongues escaping each other. We both manage to stand up, his hands still on my waist as they go to lift up my shirt. I lift my hands up for him to pull my shirt off as he traces delicate patterns all over my hot skin with his fingers. 

He then locks his hands back into my waist, lifting me up so that I can wrap my legs around him as he carries me into his bedroom, closing the door behind him all while never taking his lips off mine. 

/ ~ / 

~ A few months later ~ 

The comforting ding of the 27th floor sounds through the elevator, so I exit out of the doors down into the hallway. My body is tired as I attempt to drag it to our apartment, I had just finished a 12-hour shift at the clinic, where Changbin (oh yeahhhh, I can call him that now) gave me a job as basically an apprentice nurse. 

I reach the front door of our apartment, my heart skipping a beat as I smell something burning on the other side of the door. I haphazardly try to put my key in the lock, pushing the door open and running into the open-plan lounge room. 

I look into the kitchen to see Minho running around with an obviously burning hot pan as he shoves it in the sink, turning on the tap to cool it down, creating large amount of steam around him.  
Through the steam and smoke I yell “MINHO WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO BURN THE HOUSE DOWN?!?” 

Minho turns towards me, still looking hazy through the mix of smoke and steam, “Oh, uh… hi babe” he tries to say nonchalantly, leaning his elbow on the bench in an attempt to seem suave. However, this image cracks as he begins to cough, running towards the large window to open it and then running to stand in front of me. 

“I was ------ to-----you----” Minho mumbles, barely coherent with his eyes on the ground. 

I hum lightly in response, indicating I couldn’t hear him. 

“I WAS TRYING TO COOK DINNER FOR YOU.” 

I laugh at loudly at Minho before me; his face flushed from stress, his hair wayward around his face, his lips pursed and moons glaring. He just looked so cute when he was defensive! My laughing continues as Minho’s look of defiance turns to a pout. He stomps over to the couch and lays down, placing a pillow on top of his face so I couldn’t see him. 

Smiling wildly at my over dramatic boyfriend, I skip over to where he lays on the couch and sit on his stomach. Minho grunts underneath me and so I move, dispersing my weight on the older boy by laying on top of him, my stomach on his. I pull the pillow off of Minho’s face and softly brush my fingers to push his hair out of the way. 

“You’re so beautiful Minnie” I say, holding his burning cheek. No longer trying to carry his manly façade underneath me as he leans into my touch. 

“How about we order some fried chicken and watch a soppy teen romance drama?” I suggest.

“Ok” Minho responds still pouting, however I could see a gleam of happiness in his eyes. 

/ ~ / 

I sit on the couch next to Minho, my head on his shoulder while I slowly eat my chicken as we sit there laughing at the outrageous show before us. 

I look up at Minho as he laughs at the current scene, happiness tugged his lips into a wide beam, his eyes going small and little wrinkles appearing around them. 

He is so beautiful.

I love this man so much… 

“What’re you looking at?” Minho asks, his beam still present as he tilts his head at me. 

“Oh! Nothing!” I laugh awkwardly returning my attention back to the TV, snuggling closer into my boyfriend. 

Around the TV is two paintings, one of me sitting on a couch with three cats and another of two moons. I sneak a look back at Minho and my heart radiates with love. 

You, Minho, are my Peter; I am your Wendy. This is my Neverland.


End file.
